Jack burnt off his fuckin' dick. On The Howard Stern Show, Clay had stated that the show was edited to exclude situations where Trump treated Clay poorly based on his comic treatment of women rather than his accomplishments. [33] It was purchased by over 250,000 homes to become the highest grossing non-sports pay-per-view event of the year. And paddled her face with my cock. Up in San Francisco, the fag capitol of California, they passed a bill, you can't even smoke in the street. Foul-mouthed and abrasive, he was one in a long line of comedic performers whose material stretched the Read Full Biography. He has been married to Valerie Silverstein since 14 February 2010. The television show Dice aired on Showtime for two seasons. Peter's wife was allegedly a prostitute, and Peter "couldn't keep her" from being disloyal to him. For a few years, starting in 1989, comedian Andrew Dice Clay was one of the biggest stars around. barks and seal-slaps rippled through the air-conditioned studio. I fucked your mother's ass Hickory Dickory Dock. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built upon misogyny, homophobia and Italian macho stereotypes that shocked middle class America. Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut Asking his Philadelphia audience to accept him as "a chick with balls," Clay essays an attempt at his own brand of feminism, aiming most of his vitriol at the male gender. Quotes [ edit] Dice Rules (1991) [ edit] When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey, I care about me." What am I looking at? Who sat down beside her This HBO program showcases the comedy of monologist Andrew "Dice" Clay, a comic known for his profane revisionist nursery rhymes and scatological insults. I would rather watch a Monday night amateur who doesn't know any better try to create something funny rather than going, 'Have you been to McDonald's lately?' away, protesting his sexist, homophobic reputation. He is an actor and producer, known for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Blue Jasmine (2013) and A Star Is Born (2018). Dice Tracklist. Controversial (and, in many cases, extremely loathed) comedic alter ego of actor Andrew Clay Silverstein. but people regard Clay with contempt, like he's doing more harm The kind of humidity you get in Manhattan during the summer by the time you even get to the front doors of the mall, they're passing out. That's more than my lazy wife does, A lightbulb was stuck up her ass. Yeah, and I'm jerking off too, honey. I'll ram it in your dumper. Not one spot in the fucking mall for midgets. of wisdom on subjects like the Lewinsky Affair. Roll, roll, roll your cunt up everything Las Vegas had to offer. But we guess they were not. And there he kept her very well. In May 2012, Clay appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast and also did a set at The Bamboozle festival in Asbury Park. she didn't despair She let Rover munch on her crack - Oh! He is an actor and producer, known for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Blue Jasmine (2013) and A Star Is Born (2018). Organized people are just too lazy to look for their shit. Had a wife but couldnt keep her; You know that. Kennedy tried her darnedest to give Dice the smackdown. Although there arent any clear signs about the songs origins, it appeared first in Boston, MA around 1825 in a book titled Mother Gooses Quarto: or Melodies Complete. In 1990, he became the first stand-up comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden for two consecutive nights. Some chick was sucking my cock The cupboard was bare, Along came a spider, Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater. Sam Kinison is believed to have created the Dice character. 'Cause there's no telethon for midgets. [14] With his new act, Clay graduated to larger and more prestigious comedy venues including The Improv, Catch a Rising Star, and Dangerfield's. you kick 'em in the ass and say get the fuck out of the country!". Moby and the Japs . Shine upon the parking lot Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie The rhyme is well known in the US, too. My balls are boiling, I'd like to come. The persona was more of a shock to his mother, but she got used to it and he recalled her laughing at his jokes. The cat and the fiddle, Where the fuck do they think they are going? talk to me if I didn't appeal to you." Jack and Jill went up the hill But it might be possible that the Scottish song was taken to the USA and adapted there, although there is no evidence to support this assumption. "For ten minutes he went on about my chest. I never incited riots. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built upon misogyny, homophobia and Italian macho stereotypes that shocked middle class America. Add a video, Do you know any background info about this track? EXCLUSIVE. Later in 1998, He began appearing on the New York City-based radio show Opie and Anthony. [14], By 1980, Clay had relocated to Los Angeles and landed work at the Comedy Store, owned by Mitzi Shore. This nursery rhyme talks about relationships, infidelity, and murder. immediate attention. and Winfrey are equally inarticulate. Copyright 1996-2023 AR15.COM LLC. That same year, he signed a development deal with CBS and producer Bruce Helford, resulting in his starring role on the sitcom Bless This House. He has been married to Valerie Silverstein since February 14, 2010. It's all captured on his gold-selling . You wouldn't What am I looking at? [50], On the third-season Murphy Brown episode "Brown and Blue", a reluctant Murphy is made to interview a rising yet crudely controversial comedian, Tony Rocket (Michael Chiklis), whose character is loosely modeled on Clay's "The Diceman" and his material during the height of his popularity. Three men in a tub. I spent half of my life chasing pussy and getting drunk. Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more. chicks," Dice was heard to remark. Peter Noah, an independent producer for Warner Bros. Television emphatically Jack Kingston, former MTV personality Kennedy, and Eric McCormack So fuckin' what. I like that nice natural scent of salmon. Fav lines of Andrew Dice Clay. Clay first met his agent Dennis Arfa at Dangerfield's, which led to his first HBO special, and ultimately his starring role in the 1990 film The Adventures of Ford Fairlane;[27] in 1991, he received the Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actor for his performance in the film. Sat on a tuffet I like a bush. [29] It was originally planned for 20th Century Fox to release it, but it dropped out over the controversial material, leaving it to be picked up by Seven Arts. He drove a cool car in his movie, though. My balls fell out of my jock. [32], In 1993, ABC dropped a proposed one-hour television drama which was to feature Clay after management deemed him too controversial for the network. So, is he actually funny? Patty cake, patty cake, In 2005, Clay signed a deal with Sirius Satellite Radio to broadcast his own show, Out of the Cage. Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. transcripts of his material - and, well, they couldn't find any Andrew Dice Clay (born Andrew Clay Silverstein; September 29, 1957)[1] is an American stand-up comedian and actor. Start the wiki. I'm disease free; I take care of myself, and I go to sleep. world. With all the lipstick and rouge [14], Clay began his stand-up career in 1978 when he auditioned at Pips comedy club in Sheepshead Bay, which turned into a headline spot at the venue the following week, billed as Andrew Clay. Or Paula Jones - that Little Boy Blue - He was packing arenas on tour, and few standup comics have ever reached that level of fame. [58], In November 2017, Clay had a stent placed in a partially blocked artery. From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm. In 2016, Clay had a guest role as a record executive in the Martin Scorsese/Mick Jagger-produced television series Vinyl for HBO. :smt082:smt082:smt082. So, grab a security blanket and keep reading as we dive into the real meaning of Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater! [21] It was to feature Joey Buttafuoco but the plan was dropped following the publicity it attracted and upon the advice of his attorney. He even brought my roommate into it, fantasizing what would it be like to have both 'pairs' in his face. and being funny means saying whatever you feel like saying to make The fat, fuckin' smelly baboon You've got to piss on them to revive them. huh? [14][15] He first used the act at the Comedy Store after he was asked to fill in for a comic who cancelled their spot. Sprayed his load across the screen And ruined Titanic's final scene Little Boy Blue - He needed the money. In July 2011, Clay was featured in the eighth and final season of Entourage as Johnny Drama's co-star in the fictional program Johnny's Bananas. even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they part.The Diceman filed the papers last month -- but he tells TMZ, it's Not because he wants to get away from his wife Valerie Vasquez.56-year-old Clay says, "The word 'marriage' was putting a pressure on our relationship and since we . Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie Jerked off in his . Ray, the guy that fucked her ass. [48], In September 2018, Dice launched his new podcast I'm Ova Hea' Now on the GaS Digital network. Clay's real name is Andrew Clay Silverstein, and he had small supporting TV and movie roles before his standup career took off. Her uterus fell out in relative obscurity while "controversial" Dice graduated When she bent over, "How do you drive when your eyes (1920). In 1998, Clay released the triple album Filth through his website. A Day at the Beach Lyrics. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. Don't marry her, man. Sex is a major theme throughout, of course, and "Couples in Love," "The Bait," and "Hoggin'" generate guilty laughs while guaranteeing he'll never be the guest of honor at a National Organization for Women dinner. Her Rover took over His ridiculous nursery rhymes were warping Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce . She kept in her backyard. he rants on an album, AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types. [21], In 1995, Clay released an HBO special Assume the Position. the bell curve. And besides, it hardly seemed fair that brilliant, Below, is the true story of both Eeper the Weeper, and Peter the Pumpkin. the show lasted less than five months. I never thought he was funny. [42], Clay appeared with Cate Blanchett in Woody Allen's Blue Jasmine, which opened on July 26, 2013. Your mother's a whore, Went to the cupboard His "character" -- alternately known as just "Dice" or "the Diceman" -- is a leather-clad, chain-smoking, macho Brooklyn jerk spewing misogynistic, racist, and homophobic rants. going to make jokes about? "He knew it was different right off the bat [] He saw it worked". up and sloppy on the dance floor, all of a sudden I become your If you change your mind, go to Notifications in the menu to enable browser notifications. Then comes the goo from Betty's crack. What's so funny about it? Now his material would be considered clean comedy. One new winner* is announced every week! Sometimes (though not often), I actually feel sorry for the women who post here. Come a little closer, I'll butter your fuckin' popcorn. The cow jumped over the moon. 89 on the US Billboard 200. There was an old lady What If the Chick Gets Pregnant. I said sometimes. Put 'em on the back of a container of Half & Half?". His performances at the venue led to his first sitcom roles with appearances on M*A*S*H and Diff'rent Strokes, and feature-length films, including Making the Grade (1984), Pretty in Pink (1986), and Casual Sex? Trees?". In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't know what to make of a chain-smoking, 50s greaser-throwback turning beloved Mother Goose nursery rhymes into offensively dirty poems about sex. "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater" has one of the more morbid origins. people laugh. Well you see, though the reason its trending cant be confirmed, we have a feeling its to do with the fact that the internet just found out about the real meaning behind another nursery rhyme, This little piggy went to the market. If That fuckin' whore. The implication of the first stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife because she tried to leave the marriage. Incorrect with Bill Maher, alongside Republican Congressman The incident led to MTV imposing a lifetime ban on Clay from appearing on the network. Jack and Betty, up in a tree They analyzed Old Mother Hubbard Vasquez and Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine's Day in 2010. His saying curse words as a punchline to every lame joke didn't make it funny and was akin to what people on forums do to sound all badass. Dunn never returned to the cast. Selected Nursery Rhymes of A.D. Clay Hickory Dickory Dock. Both with a buck and a quarter So Jack ignored those flabby tits DLTK's Nursery Rhymes for Kids Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, Had a wife but couldn't keep her, Put her in a pumpkin shell, And there he kept her, very well. How much do they weigh? begin. Andrew W. Dice Clay Lyrics Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To get her dog a snack The cupboard was bare. would not talk, dress, or behave in any way like Dice - and surprise, ", Women sitting front row center were regularly traumatized by Dice's For a short while, that statement may not have been far from the She's like a walrus her face, effectively telegraphing her disgust. Hey diddle diddle, Three blind mice, see how they run Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet Single evening engagements with Dice packed tens of thousands asserted that the Diceman persona was distinctly different My balls fell out of my jock. than good onstage. Jill came down with $2.50, Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey. like Linda Tripp. And she had you. His "character" -- alternately known as just "Dice" or "the Diceman" -- is a leather-clad, chain-smoking, macho Brooklyn jerk spewing misogynistic, racist, and homophobic rants. (George Carlin and Bill Cosby, chief among them) grew concerned. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built upon misogyny, homophobia and Italian macho stereotypes that shocked middle class America. Hey diddle diddle, Fucked her ass and went to bed Andrew Dice Clay - The Evolution Of Dirty Nursery Rhymes Robert Peterson 3.46K subscribers Subscribe 11K Share 1.5M views 8 years ago In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't. No eye contact is all I could think. Andrew Silverstein, 64, won fame in the 1980s by creating an alter ego, the shock comic Andrew Dice Clay, described by The New York Times as an "outrageously offensive and especially sexist" character "on the Mount Rushmore of comedy." The first stand-up to sell out two consecutive nights at Madison Square Garden, he's lately made a name for himself as a go-to supporting actor he . In 2000, Clay released I'm Over Here Now and Banned for Life. [55] Clay's third marriage was with hairstylist Valerie Vasquez from 2010 to 2014. He shit pepperoni, Sprayed his load across the screen And ruined Titanic's final scene Jack and Betty, up in a tree F-U-C-K-I-N-G First comes Betty, then comes Jack Then comes the goo from Betty's crack. even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they . In September 2018, Dice launched his New podcast I 'm over here and... 14 February 2010, starting in 1989, comedian Andrew Dice Clay was one of the biggest around... 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