CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Why dont jockeys like horse puns? I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo.Mayo neighs. I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. We hope so that reading this article of horse jokes was fun for you. What kind of horse can swim underwater?A seahorse. Why dont you look into a horses mouth? Horses also WHINNY and SNORT. 26.) Q: What did the race horse order from the bakery? 92.) AND parents laugh at them, too! A: Mane St. Q: When do vampires like horse racing? Q: Why did the horse go to the doctor? A. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Joke of the Week: What kind of snacks does a duck like. According to the BLM, there are an estimated 82,000 wild horses and burros located in the Western United States, with herds of 300-500 in the rest of the country. He was banned and barned for being too good! A: The psycho-path. Ive led a full life, the horse answers miraculously. Q: What looks like half a horse? The policeman pulls him over. It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. Because winter is too colt. A: He got colt feet. Why did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it. Today everyone owns cars and only the rich own horses.The stables have turned. Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? Do you love all things punny? The Pottery Barn! Q: What did the lunch lady say to the horses? He thought he might get a kick out of it! Having a horse is a big responsibility. A: The horse who lost it! If so, we invite you to share them with your friends on social media or in person! 21.) What is a cats favorite breakfast. The next day he rode back on Friday. 142 Funny Horse Puns That Are Just Oat-Standing. Q. A: Broncos vs. Colts. He took the precious book out of the horses mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, Its a miracle! Not really, said the horse. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can't make him drink. What happens if there is a close finish in a horse race? My foal is scared to go back into the stable. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. Q: What do you call a horse who refs football games? Children LOVE telling jokes. Ferraris run on horse-power. Comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment [deleted] . "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!". These funny horse jokes can be a great part of family activity for any gathering! A week later his friend asks him; so how is it going?He says; well, no growth yet but the color is already there!I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. Did you find a pun that could be your next great dad joke? Posts about horses written by That Blue Girl. How did the pony get the bugs away. Horses that have been tamed usually live to be around 25 years old. What did the horse say when he wouldnt eat his hay off the ground? 27.) Q: Where do newly married horses sleep? Shows. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. (coarse) G-Horse - The pull of horses on you. Theyll undoubtedly cause some amusement. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win? This funny collection of friendly and good jokes riddles and puns about horse are clean and safe for children of all ages. Where do horses get their hair done. Your email address will not be published. He wanted to be an astro-nut. The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? https:. These dinosaur jokes will crack you up! 91.) Q: How slow was the race horse? 14.) So if your child is in need of a belly laugh or two, read on and prepare to be . From corny puns to silly quips, your kid will now have a pocket full of horse jokes to pull out and make their friends laugh.. Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? 35 Horse Puns Funny Horse Puns from parade.com. 71.) 40.) Take a seat, unwind, and enjoy the internets tophorse puns. Riddle: Why did the cowboy only wear one spur? Horses have around 205 bones in their skeleton. The best horse jokes always include a pun. 68 Hilarious Santa Jokes for the Holidays (Ho, Ho, Ho! Here are 100 funny bear jokes and the best bear puns to crack you up. Knock Knock.Whos there?Quiet horse.Quiet horse, who? More than half of the feral horses in the Western United States are in Nevada. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. Knock knock knock knock. Youll enjoy these top-notch horse jokes if youre an equestrian! A: The Broncos. Some kind of animal!. Lets continue our list with a few short horse jokes that are a bit different. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. We have compiled some horse puns and horse jokes that you can tell all of your friends back home in the stables! How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. 19.) The bartender says, "Hey." The vet said, Yes, of course and I think you will probably win. I did, but they used too much mayo-neighs! Where do the horses in the barn eat?At the stable table. Q: What was the name of the horse musical? She swears her neighbor is in a colt! A: Mane. That is something that normal people do not do. A: They both hold the reins. Q: What do horses see before thunder? In the N e i g h bourhood . There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: theyre loyal, theyre intelligent, and, most importantly they can be hilarious. When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. When you spend all of your time, energy, and money on horses, you need a good sense of humor. Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? My horse loves music! 65.) Do you know a horse joke that didnt make it on our list? Many people think that when a horse is lying down, that means it's sick. Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. Almost all of the horses alive today are domesticated and. Have you heard the story about the horse that ran away? 31 Best Horse Jokes: Funniest Picks (Horse Puns Included!) Where do horses live for kids? Some wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used by humans for a variety of reasons. Why don't you try the circus?" The horse nickers. Q. Your email address will not be published. A neigh-bour. A: A little horse play. Suddenly the horse falls over dead. A: He was going to stirrup some interest. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is neigh, which is part of the word neighborhood. A: With a yay or neigh. A: With two pairs of stilts. Where do horses live? You'll stirrup a hayload of fun for all your friends and family. Here are 50 funny carrot jokes and the best carrot puns to crack you up. Q: What does a horse say when you don't give them enough hey? A: You cant use it until its been broken. Why are most horses in shape?Because they are on a stable diet. 55.) Here are 75 funny moose jokes and the best moose puns to crack you up. Why did the skinny man start eating hay?The doctor told him to gain weight, he needed to eat like a horse! Ok then. Did you love our dog jokes? Q: What NFL football matchup is always a win-win for horses? We dont horse around when it comes to horse jokes (same with why did the chicken cross the road? jokes). Heres a collection of horse jokes for kids. Because they cant achieve full horse power without gas. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. Its cuz I got chapped lips. The bartender was even more confused; Horse manure helps with chapped lips?Nah, says the cowboy. What fruit do twins love. A talking horse!What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea?The trots!Do you know why horse stalls at the racetrack are labelled A, B, D, E, and F?Because no one wants to bet on a seahorse.My wife and kids are leaving me because they say Im obsessed with Horse Racing.Im looking out the window at them now.. and theyre off..I bought a racehorse todayI called him My Face. A: Ralph Neigh-der. Well, by the look of it, the man says, Youll win!Have you ever heard of the band Foals?They have a colt following.How did the horse with the speech impediment feel after corrective surgery went wrong?A bit filly.What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth?A mechanic.What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.I recently bought a female Horse that I was hoping to ride daily, but she only sleeps during the day.Shes turning out to be such a Nightmare.I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 and it did! The man replied, "I did. They're always surrounded by nature and fellow horses! Its not that stable of an income! What do you call an insincere small horse?A phony pony. An animal with a 50-million-year long evolutionary process Over the course of 50 million years, horses evolved from small, many-toed animals to the majestic, single-toed equines we know today. I dont care if he doesnt win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, Come on My Face.Three racehorses were standing around their paddockThe first one says, Ive won 15 of my last 26 races.The second one says, Ive won 20 of my last 30 races.The third one says, Ive won 25 of my last 40 races.A greyhound happens to be walking by. Q: Where do horses stay at night when they travel? Unfortunately all the others came in at 1230. 28.) Which side of the horse has the most hair?The outside. A: They age. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. Have you seen the movie Spirit? A: Horse radishes. Whats the difference between a Western horse and an Eastern horse?About 2,000 miles. The longest living horse in wild as of 1974 was 36 years. A cowboy walks into an expensive car showroom and says, "Audi!". 74.) Old Jokes. 36.) "When bought my 21-year-old AQHA in February of 2021 he was being fed a basic 12% feed with alfalfa pellets mixed in. In this list, you will find everything from horse puns to jokes to horse memes. Why was the racehorse nicknamed News?Everyone knows that news travels fast. Q: When does a horse go to sleep at night? Interesting Fact Since the Arabian horses have been developed in the desert climate, they are known for their excellent endurance and speed. No chance of a touchdown there. A: He took a gallop poll. Why wouldnt the pony stay up pasture bedtime? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale. Get ready to roll around on the floor laughing because these hilarious horse jokes for kids are coming your way. I had the worst nightmare ever! My horse said. Why can a farmer always trust a horse? iHeartHorses.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. What is a horse's favourite sport? The guy is gobsmacked, jaw-dropped and speechless. 54.) Suitable for the young and old, these horse jokes for kids will have you in stitches. 72.) 10.) Where do horses go when theyre sick?The horse-pital. Kitchen Night-Mare! 80.) Required fields are marked *. Q. The doctor said: Its OK, youre just a little horse.A jockey is walking down the road leading a racehorse when he bumps into a friend. They found a lot of foal play! From puppies in the park to the bunny rabbits that dominate the most beloved storybooks, many of the first words children learn are the names of animals from the cat in the house to the giraffe far, far away. Confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but are! 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